Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Bird Flu

I can confidently state that all of my work is consistently a physical portrayal of a personal journey that I am experiencing at the time of its making. Being a young designer and being in a place in my life where I am in a constant state of transition, the content and structure of my work is drastically changing from one theme to the next, nonetheless always developing from the past. Through my passion of garment making, I am given the opportunity to challenge myself and share my thoughts and experiences through the world of fashion. Fashion and clothing are such tangible and accessible ways for people to converse on what is going on around them and within themselves. The essential role of the designer is to do simply that; to make aware through garment making, the journeys and happenings of what exists inside and outside of them. Whether that involves personal, social, or political interests, it is up to the designer to share.
The past few months, starting with the beginning of the summer, has been the start of a truly eye opening experience for me. I began confronting and discovering many facets of myself that have been pushed so far down, convincing myself almost completely of its unimportance. Due to fear and ignorance, my inner demons have remained fairly dormant, only deciding to come up sporadically and rapidly fermenting along the way. I began to address many personal discomforts and seeing distinct patterns within my family and myself and I had only touched the surface of before. What I had earnestly been starting to confront was this constant state of anxiety that is perpetually at my side. It likes to come forth more fervently at times, or is more subdued at others, but its existence remains with me always. There is not one single cause for its presence, as with most psychological characteristics, but the one thing that I have learned to accept is that it is and always will be a constituent of myself.
Every human mind is plagued with grief, guilt, penance, and mourning. When these natural reactions begin to dwell and prolong their stay of normalcy, they begin to consume and engross all thoughts. It is as though the body and mind become separate entities, anxiety level rises, there becomes a lack of control of the natural ability to communicate and sometimes cause one to reach the point of insanity. There is a repetitive act of giving and feeding to these contained emotions and what is around us, though it becomes entirely circuitously self-destructive. There becomes a point where there is nothing left to give and what remains in the self stripped to its most bare form, to its’ true core.
In my collection this year, I am directly addressing the fact that I am in this constant state of conflict. It is as though my mind and body are eternally at war with each other and with themselves. The best way that I have been able to communicate this kind of battle is through a series of masks that I have began to form. Arriving strictly from one continuous thread, the masks appear as lace like structures that share the quality and appearance of a mass of loose hair. Placed over and sometimes around the entire head, the identity of the wearer is obscured, with some irregular openings where the threads have allowed light to come through and the skin and features of the face are visible. Even in these somber, deconstructed forms, beauty can be seen.
Below are some studies of the masks that I created

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